i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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