i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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