90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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