There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize