he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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