I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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