Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
