Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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