dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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