so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
