just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
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Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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