yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
