I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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