we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
