He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
