Only a mothe r could love this liver
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
foreskin is a definite game changer
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
