this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
