no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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