If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.