the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.