how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My vagina is officially offended.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch