Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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