Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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