Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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