So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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