she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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