I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize