She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just tell him i said nine months
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
