i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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