Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
