yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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