i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
