Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
whose parrot is this?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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