What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
