we should wear snuggies to the strip club
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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