Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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