she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
