please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
