You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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