Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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