O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
