just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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