Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
