dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
