Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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