Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
