made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
