It's like God shit irony all over that family
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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