Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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