Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Non-Jews are for practice
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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