"it" just moved
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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