There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
