Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important