How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders