New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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