Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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