I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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