tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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