Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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