i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
