porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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